Dating Your High School Significant Other In College: The Pros (But Mostly the Cons)

By Alexandra Brown on September 23, 2014

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35zjgf

For some people, having relationships in high school is a significant part of social maturation. That first relationship, which is most likely the first one you’ve ever had, can teach you a lot about yourself, even if it doesn’t last for an extended amount of time.

When it comes time for graduation, and eventually the transition from high school to college, however, skepticism about continuing these relationships is always induced. Some couples decide to break it off, but some decide it’s worth it to proceed with their relationship, whether they will be attending different schools and attempting to continue regardless of long distance, or whether they will be taking classes on the same campus.

For some, this decision means that you feel that your relationship is strong, and worth holding together for this next chapter of your life, which is great.

If you’re both attending the same school, you get to have that special person at your disposal to help ease the new shift in your life. If you’re attending different schools, it’s also nice to know that you have that person to look forward to every time you come home, which can also help with keeping focus while you’re on campus.

If you do decide to continue your relationship into college, though, I’m hoping you’ve taken into consideration a few things.

First off, you’ve completely limited yourself from forming a romantic relationship with someone new, who didn’t know you in high school, and who could see you for the person you’ve become, and not necessarily the person you were. Having a significant other who got to know you, and was there for you all throughout high school is comforting and all, but you will most likely change a lot within these next four years.

You’ll discover new interests and form new friendships with people who actually have things in common with you, and you might even end up meeting someone you really like, but you’ve allowed yourself to be tied down by your relationship from high school.

It’s also a possibility that being tied down by your high school relationship could interfere with your growth, maturation and independence. This is especially true if you’re planning on attending the same school as your significant other, because it will most likely lead to you spending the majority of your free time with friends from high school.

This is understandable at first, as you’re slowly starting to adapt, and having that comfort zone of people you’ve known for a while is reassuring. Nonetheless, it is so important to make a conscious effort to branch out and challenge yourself to meet new people within these next four years. This is what college is all about (aside from going to class and working toward completing a major).

In addition, even if your relationship is long distance, you’re still allowing yourself to be controlled/affected by someone, which could have a potentially negative outcome, like you become unable to grow as an independent person, and you’re constantly reliant upon someone at a distance.

Another thing to think about when deciding to continue your high school relationship into college is the unnecessary drama that it will undeniably provoke, whether you’re on campus with them, or working through a long distance relationship.

http://www.thestylecon.com

If you’re attending the same school as your significant other, who you hang out with, especially if it’s a person of the opposite sex, will constantly be questioned and judged by them. You might have a bulletproof relationship that you’re completely confident with continuing throughout college, but these reactions are simply human nature.

You should be meeting new people, and if they can’t accept the new friendships you’re forming, or if you’re learning about a whole new side of them involving ugly jealousy, maybe it’s a sign the relationship should come to an end.

The same thing can happen with a long distance relationship. Maybe you’ll get tagged in one photo or more on Facebook with someone who is just a friend, but your significant other insists that there is something more between you two.

People in relationships can get pretty jealous, especially if they’re far away from each other, and feel like they’ve lost all control. Breaking it off early on, maybe during the summer before the start of classes in the fall, might be the best way to avoid unnecessary drama.

One last thing to consider is the stereotypical, but for the most part accurate, college dating lifestyle, or rather lack thereof. Hook-up culture is extremely prominent on college campuses, and if you’re in a relationship, you won’t be participating in it, which might be completely okay with you, but also might be disappointing if, when you go out, all your friends are having a careless time, and you’re unable to join in.

http://www.collegemagazine.com

You should at least consider all of the above factors when deciding whether or not to continue your high school relationship into college; it’s better to be safe than sorry!

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